Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
