Me too!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
