I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Alive.
So much puke
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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