I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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