Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
