check it out our google latitudes are spooning
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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