I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
