i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
