Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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