508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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