Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
