She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
