I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
