when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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