I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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