the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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