Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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