I love watching others lives come down to our level.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
