Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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