i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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