dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
