I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
