I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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