so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She bit a glass in half.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
