I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
