glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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