i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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