If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
