Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
