So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
