i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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