are you still at the devil's house?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Can I color on your dick again?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
