well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
