why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
my poor anus
I'm sobbing to NWA
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
