Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize