He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
