OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
