Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This is my gift to your gina
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
