Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
why does every cop we meet know your name?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
