I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
