He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
PANTIES FOUND
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
