The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I believe in your delicious
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
