Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
