Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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