he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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