First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize