Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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