Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
