i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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