i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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