Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
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