You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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