you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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