I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
