Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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