I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
