dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Please don't give away my fajitas
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
