Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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