why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
