why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
