Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
