i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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