Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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