I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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